Death is My Joy

All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy all work and no play makes etc.

I've been rather busy recently. In fact, I should try and keep this short. I find working an experience something like being submerged under water. I cannot stay in the environment for very long without feeling a need to come up for air. It doesn't seem to be my element at all.

Anyway, at times like this, I tend to think a great deal about the release that comes with death. I suppose I have had this disposition for a long time. I remember, as a teenager, 'singing' to myself (or rather croaking) the lines of the Celtic Frost song Inner Sanctum, until they almost became unconscious habit. I can't find the song on YouTube, but here are the lyrics:

Inner Sanctum

Sleep brings no joy to me

Remembrance never dies

My soul is given to misery

And lives in sighs …

The shadows of the dead,

My waken eyes may never see,

Surround my bed

That from which they sprung – eternity

Beneath the turf

The silent dead

Sleep brings no wish to knit

My harrassed heart beneath

My only wish is to forget

In the sleep of death

Death is my joy

I long to be at rest

I wish the damp earth covered

This desolate brest

Beneath the mould

The silent dead

But the glad eyes around us

Must weep as we have done

And we must see the same gloom

Eclipse their morning sun

Oh not for them – Should we despair

The grave is drear – But they're not there

Their dust is mingled – With the sod

Their pale souls – Are gone, to god

Well, may they live in ecstasy

Their long eternity of joy

At least I wouldn't bring them down

With me to weep, to groan

And what's the future

A sea beneath the cloudless sun

A mighty, glorious, dazzling sea

Stretching into infinity

My inner sanctum

R.I.P

And here's a sample of the band's music (after an interview in German):

So, the music to which I am currently leaping around the kitchen is Celtic Frost's Into the Pandemonium, and particularly Inner Sanctum.

One more time:

"Death is my joy. I long to be at rest. I wish the damp earth covered this desolate breast."

Some people are puzzled that I enjoy this music, but to me, Celtic Frost were always obvious artistic originals. Tom G. Warrior's guitar sound is possibly the best guitar sound I have ever heard. And his vocals sound like some kind of Lovecraftian language more cthonic than aural. With the songs for which I don't have the lyrics, I listen to them as sort of Rorscharch songs, making up my own words out of the inhuman croaking.

Talking of Lovecraft, the Old Ones are coming: