Recently – or not so recently now – I was tagged by Melissa for a meme about pet peeves. I have to name six of them. Of course, I really hate to complain about anything at all, and regular readers will know that I'm not a petty person, but, alas, I am forced into complaining on this occasion. It is my duty and I cannot avoid it. Therefore, I will try to come up with six things that perhaps mildly irritate me:
1) The battle of the sexes. Apparently men always leave the toilet seat up and women can't read maps etcetera. It's all such a yawn. And yet I have come to suspect that the battle of the sexes is the tedious eternal dance in which one must engage if one doesn't want to be alone. Sexual pacifists are treated with suspicion and get caught in the crossfire. Nobody likes a traitor, apparently.
2) Genre tribalism. When I was a teenager, I was told by my best friend, who was a rocker, that if I was a rocker I couldn't listen to Thomas Dolby. Of course, I found this utterly ridiculous. I thought maybe people grow out of this kind of narrow-mindedness in adult life, but apparently not. Those who flit from genre to genre are treated with suspicion. Nobody likes a sell-out, apparently.
3) People who are rude. There's simply no excuse for it. Rudeness is never a crime of passsion. It is, in fact, the ultimate crime, of which all other crimes are mere symptoms – the crime of disrespecting other human beings. Those found guilty should be separated from their hands and feet and sterilised.
4) Litter. It's not big, and it's not clever. See #3 above. Litter is a form of environmental rudeness. Do litterers imagine they are being rebellious or free-spirited? No, they are just being ignorant dicks. Really, what is the motivation here?
5)People who use the word 'sad' as an insult, or instruct others to 'get a life'. The whole assumption behind these 'insults' is that the person using them is not 'sad', that they actually have 'a life'. They are buying into a philosophy of social Darwinism – winners and losers. Those who are loud and self-satisfied, preferably with lots of money and the most prestigious sexual partners, are the winners. Those who are filled with uncertainty, and have little or no money and no sexual partner, are the losers. Usually these winners have problems facing the idea of death. I would advise them to visit a morgue. We're all a bit sad, really. And any life we have is only borrowed.
6) Politicisation of simple human issues. We're in a lifeboat at sea. Most of us seem to think there's a storm coming. In their boredom and frustration, some of us have started knocking holes in the bottom of the boat with pick axes. Someone suggests it might be a good idea to stop knocking holes in the bottom of the boat and prepare for the storm. "Hey man, are you taking away my right to knock holes in the boat? There is absolutely no link between us knocking holes in the boat and water coming in. The sea was there already, man. Anyway, who says there's a storm coming? Prove it."
I think that at least half of these (if not all of them), are to do with the us-and-them mentality that seems ubiquitous in human beings. Bush proclaimed not long ago, in his so-called 'war on terror' that, if you're not with us, you're against us; this seems to be the attitude of many. But I don't feel like I've ever been with any 'us'. Okay then, I'm not with you. I'm against you. All of you.
Now I have to name three others to take up this pet peeves meme. I shall name them and leave it up to them whether they wish to do so:
http://my.opera.com/CaptainPenguin/blog/
1 -i have no trouble in reading maps… maps fascinate me… :p2- i agree, that is ridiculous, but that is because i listen to all genres of music.3- agreed!4 – agreed!5- winners and losers – well, i have a slightly different view to this than that. a winner for me, is someone who is balanced, regardless of outside conditions, that he/she treats people with respect etc. losers are those who can´t find a niche into their environment, treat people rudely etc…6- 😆
Hello. Yes, with #1 I was basically giving examples of stereotypes. I find that people on both sides of the gender divide are often keen on enforcing stereotypes in order to perpetuate the battle that they’re so keen on.My definition of winners and losers is quite simple. If you’re me, you fall into the latter category. If you’re someone else you fall into the former.
Off to do it now Quentin me old mucker
Robin Davies writes:Good choices Quentin. My pet peeve (well, pathological hatred actually) is all the visual and auditory clutter on TV programmes (channel identification logos, in-programme-pointers, PRESS RED logos, credit squeezing, talking over the credits etc). Even if I can find a good programme these days it’s often spoiled by these distractions. I wonder if the people who perpetrate these outrages would be bothered if they visited an art gallery and found all the paintings had sponsors’ logos in the corner…
1. I love maps, too! Still get lost, though :rolleyes:2. Genre tribalism: I’ve always loved cross-genre stuff, myself (Tom Waits, Gene Wolf, etc). Though back when I was a teenager, who knows. Teens are notoriously narrow-minded when it comes to that sort of thing.3. Yes. Rude people are a pain.4. Yes!5. Add to that people who use the word “impact” when they should say “affect” or “effect.” Pick one or the other, they’re perfectly good words, and leave impact to describe craters (sorry, off on a personal tangent there…). More of an Americanism, probably…6. We’re gonna have to do SOMETHING, I agree.And, good job! Hope you’re well, and hope the job is proceeding well.
Hello Captain Penguin. Thanks for the peeves. You’re less peevish than me, it seems, since I have the full six there (with plenty in reserve, I might add). Hello Robin. I think I was reading something like that the other day – yes, I believe it was an essay by Allen Ashley in his Days of the Dodo. He was talking about the bad manners of the television programmers, who interrupt what you’re watching to tell you what’s on next and so on. I have a friend who seldom watches television, and I remember one time she visited me and I put the TV on for some reason, and she was laughing at how surreal the whole presentation of some news programme was (you know, totally Brasseye), and I was reminded myself and said, “Yes, it’s always like this.”Hello Melissa. Thank you for giving me an excuse to whine again. I’m reasonably well, thank you, and struggling for some form of financial independence (in other words, enough money to live on with enough time for writing).
Re #3 I never thought of that. This is revelatory to me and promises to change my entire life.Re #5 No. I do the same. No you, I mean, but myself. Keeping it brief I’m afraid. Eyes still bad. Might try that Buddha urine therapy you mentioned.
1. Battle of the sexes eh. What the hell is ‘Woman’s Hour’ all about anyway? Damn fricking SEXIST TRASH!What about a Welsh Hour? Or a Sadomasochist With a Ball Point Pen, Which Mysteriously Went Missing From the Local Stationary Shop Two Days Ago Hour? It’s absolutely ridiculous! What’s the point of a show on radio about women’s matters? What do they talk about? Tampons? Eyeliner? A delve into the boring life of a female scientist who no one has ever heard about and never will? I mean really??? Pointless! A man’s hour would be no better of course, let’s not be sexist! :P2. Sticking to one genre is a little odd, but buying music according to what a music mag recommends is even odder.3. Rude people make life worth living! Because then it gives you an acceptable reason to stab them to death with Cluedo dagger and copulate with their decaying corpse under nightfall. And isn’t that what life’s all about in the end? Killing people? Sorry I had a rough childhood and I’ve been staring at this for the last half hour.4. Litter always gets on my tits, don’t these people have bins at home? Or perhaps they just like wasting their car fuel, so they chuck their rubbish out of their Astras at high speed while driving through the countryside. Whenever I go for walks up a nice country lane opposite my house, there’s always some kind of junk food wrapper or novelty condom laying about. I would pick them up and dispose of them properly, but I’m bound to catch some kind of contagious disease in the process. Syphilis hot dogs anyone?5. Does it bother you if I call myself sad?6. This is exactly the reason why I gave up reading.
Oh dear, Quentin–hope your eyes snap out of it soon!Best,Mel
A list I can identify with, for sure. Goodness, now you want me to think of six? Give me time!
We really do need to implement a system to keep the rude people in check. We could start by legalising duelling.
Such cheek sirrah you shall be hearing from my seconds and I demand choice of weapons,you a dagger me an F16
I dunno about you lot, but I’ve got one hell of a peeve at the moment! Keira Knightley is thinking of RETIRING! BLOOMING HELL! And if that wasn’t bad enough, she states in an interview that she wants to look like Beth Ditto! :yikes:”In her latest interview she claims she has tried to get bigger, explaining how she wanted to be “womanly, female and curvy”, and describing the singer Beth Ditto as having “the most amazing body” – excerpt from The IndependentThat’s it!!! Keira’s lost it! She’s a nutcase! Either that or she has the greatest sense of humour this side of Ogmore Vale!
I want to look like Beth Ditto, too.
Hmmmmmm I’m wondering what you’d look like with 200lbs of fat on your body. Would it be a political statement of some kind?
More to love, as they say. More of myself for me to love.
Oh right, you think you’d have better masturbation sessions if you were that much heavier. Hmmmm an interesting thought, of course there’s nothing wrong with a man groping his own man breasts for sexual titillation, which at the 350lb level would be quite substantial! Roll over Jordan!! Well I suppose she can’t, her breasts would just nudge her in the opposite direction. It would be like the Newton Cradle effect!
Yeah. You’ve hit the nail on the head. Phwaoorrr! What!
DingoBluefoot writes:
I googled ‘neediness’ and this is what popped up. I’m glad it did. It’s the best thing I’ve read in a blog for a long while. Thanks for writing it…[email protected]
Thank you, if I may dovetail a bit here, for reading it. Any particular reason you were googling neediness?
(note: filtering on Google may have to be disabled[/b])This page can also be found on the following Google searches… woman’s hour is sexist trashQuentin the sadomasochist with a ball point pencluedo dagger mysteriously went missing350lb pointless Beth Ditto is a retiring tampon scientist in a local stationary shop makes life worth living! Stab her to death and mention it on Woman’s Hour for the Eyeliner Syphilis People of Ogmore Vale!Quentin has the most amazing body, better than Keira Knightley or sadomasochist Beth Ditto! He’s womanly, female and curvy!I’m not sure how many people will search for those terms, but it must be reassuring that you’re on top every single time! You’re the man Quentin! You’re the man! 😀
Well, I should think so, too.
:up: 😀