Ronnie Hazlehurst

I hate insomnia.

I think I'll just try and write here until my eyelids begin to droop.

I'm pretty tired actually, I just can't seem to sleep. I do get insomnia intermittently. It drives me mad. During the day I try hard to keep awake, and at night I can't sleep.

I've been thinking today about revenge, and how that, after all, that's what really drives me. The problem with revenge is in knowing who to exact it on. It's easy enough if the injustice you wish to redress is clear-cut, such as someone doing wrong to a loved one, but there are other kinds of revenge that are more nebulous and very problematical. One of the most problematical things about revenge is that it often involves you becoming the thing that you hate. For instance, if you want to take revenge upon the world for the obscurity in which it has forced you to exist, it sometimes seems that the only route to take to do so is to push your way into the spotlight in the manner of all those who elbowed you into obscurity in the first place, so that you can become spittingly eloquent about who elbowed you and the way in which they did it and how they pretended not to have elbowed anyone at all. And then you take out the automatic weapon you've been nursing and… after everything has been mopped up, and they're about to take you away to a cell – either hard or soft, depending – you catch a glimpse of the bodies also being carried away, and realise that you don't recognise any of them.

Those who elbowed you all those years ago simply disappeared into the crowd.

I wonder if I'm tired enough to sleep yet.

Here's Matt Berry talking about title sequences: