Slamming and branding

Two journalistic cliches that I've noticed A LOT recently are 'slam' and 'brand', as in:

The man who put his Australian life up for auction on the Internet has slammed 'idiots' that have made fake bids.

And:

MINOGUE BRANDS X FACTOR A 'DREAM' WITHOUT OSBOURNE

In the case of the latter, does Danniii mean that it will be a dream come true? I suppose the use of the word 'brand' suggests otherwise.

Anyway, I've decided that from now on, I'm not going to criticise anything. I'm going to slam it. Also, I won't 'call' things anything. I will 'brand' them. For instance, I was having lunch with Mr. Wu not long ago in a Japanese restaurant off Wardour Street, and our order was taking a very long time to arrive. Irritated, I slammed the waiter for his tardiness. When the food did finally come, the soup in the soba was only of a fey and wan kind of warmth, and I branded it unappetising.

That kind of thing, maybe. Hmmm. I don't know. Maybe it needs some work still.

7 Replies to “Slamming and branding”

  1. There’s only about one Marvin Bombthebastards clip on Youtube:http://youtube.com/watch?v=dMHDBL7CNA4&feature=relatedI've just been looking at the Kenny Everett Wikipedia entry:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kenny_EverettSome great quotes:”When England was a kingdom, we had a king. When we were an empire, we had an emperor. Now we’re a country … and we have Margaret Thatcher.” ‘This morning, I spilled coffee all over my wife’s dressing gown! Serves me right for wearing it!”We believe in goodness, truth and beauty! We believe that Julie Andrews should get her own series, and that Joan Collins should get her own breakfast! And remember: you don’t have to watch this endless display of perversitude and fleshybollery! You’ve all got a knob there! SO USE IT!”http://youtube.com/watch?v=xRkTD9-nujAToyah!

  2. You might be right. I think my levels of irony are still fairly low. And the layers are even-numbered, too, which means they tend to cancel themselves out.

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