Chinese People = Asian = MYSTIC FLYING IMMORTALS.
I feel obliged to acknowledge this – that what I gave in my previous post as the heritage I was looking forward to as a Chinese person was fairly unimaginative and stereotypical, in a way. I do feel a certain amount of shame on that account, but on examining myself, still find myself more drawn to these aspects of my heritage than to others. As a Chinese person, the relationship with such Chinese stereotypes is a difficult one to address.
For instance, is it degrading for an English person to embrace the stereotype that the English are masters of ironic humour? One problem in embracing this stereotype is that in embracing it, like a monkey trying to catch a reflection of the moon in the water, you lose it.
How do I know that I am English? Is it through an accumulation of irony, pale skin, bad teeth and social awkwardness? What if others lay claim to these attributes as signifiers for a different identity, such as Chineseness?
As an English person, I suppose I do not feel that I have a monopoly on such traits. Even if they are English, are they uniquely English? Or are they also Chinese? As a Chinese person, I would say they are most definitely Chinese, too. In a sense, therefore, in laying claim to an understanding of the Chinese script, to Chinese cooking, and to immortality, what I was really laying claim to was Englishness. I had no need to lay claim to my Chineseness at all. It was already there in my pale skin, my bad teeth, my sexual repression, my irony, and so on. But in trying to lay claim to what I already had, like a monkey trying to catch a reflection of the moon in the water, I lost it. I lost my Chineseness. And now I feel very sad.
I can only hope that it will return.
