Why Chomu is great and actually better than you even ever can realise

First of all, sorry if I've left some comments here on my blog unaddressed. I'm having difficulty catching up with things lately. My room – and life – is a mess, et cetera.

Secondly, I think that Chomu's greatness can be demonstrated in terms of the outre value of the search items by which strangers have happened upon it. These search items – as entered into Google and other search engines – are, of course, accessible to us at Chomu through the kind of Internet spying that is now universal. Here are some examples:

panama hats in japanese literature

pray as a dance team

sarah palin wet pussy

lovecraft butterfly

2 girls introducing a metallic fork in a pénis

funk not only moves it can also remove

i want a malay girlfriend

samuel johnson and masturbation

Because of this, we have decided to institute a policy of occasionally using such mantras as the magazine's tagline. If you find that your own search-engine mantra has been used, that means it's your chance to claim your special Chomu prize – an evening out with your favourite Chomu writer.

Having now demonstrated the greatness of Chomu, it only remains for me to say, to all those who want a Malay girlfriend to introduce a metallic fork into their Lovecraftian butterfly pénis and use the funk to move and remove it while Samuel Johnson looks on masturbatingly and Sarah Palin prays for a wet pussy dance team to devise a new interpretative dance piece based on panama hats and their use in Japanese literature – you've come to the right place! We accept you! One of us!

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