Posted on by qscrisp

Why did you abandon me here on this godawful planet of morons?

I have been in London these past few days for what Ulrich Haarburste might describe as "sundry reasons".

Yesterday, travelling on the Underground, I noticed an advertisement for some magazine or similar publication that purported to be a guide to the world in 2009. On the cover of this magazine, amongst other headlines, was the question, "Can sustainable living work in Britain?"

This seems to me a very good example of how (even) those who are forming our opinions via the media are simply unable to think straight. What does 'sustainable' mean if not something that works in the long-term? Therefore this headline could be re-written as, "Can a lifestyle that works in the long-term work in Britain?" Well, if it can't then we're screwed, aren't we? The only alternative to a sustainable lifestyle is an unsustainable lifestyle – one that won't work in the long-term. Our current lifestyle, in fact. And the only way that sustainable living won't work in Britain is because people can't be bothered to get off their fat arses and do what has to be done – the kind of contemptible apathy to which this headline seems to pander, whatever the actual conclusions of the article inside.

So let's say we take the unsustainable living… er… 'option', a few years down the road we'll all be refugees, and I doubt that there will be many other countries willing to take such apathetic, lard-arsed, criminally boring, badly-dressed, complacent, gastronomically illiterate, oafish, eructating, unsustainable scum to their bosoms, however much we might have changed our minds about immigration by then.

14 Replies to “Why did you abandon me here on this godawful planet of morons?”

  1. “…apathetic, lard-arsed, criminally boring, badly-dressed, complacent, gastronomically illiterate, oafish, eructating, unsustainable scum…”My goodness. You just described about a million plus people. I might be apathetic and lard-arsed about a few things and I think my ex would say I was criminally boring because he didn’t like conversations with me. They always ended abruptly with him saying ‘enough’. Badly dressed? hmmmm… well, I do buy some clothing at second hand stores and Goodwill and I dumped a friend for the first time in my life because every time we went out to lunch she’d suggest I go shopping with her so she could help me pick out new clothes. Now if she’d said she’d purchase them for me, I might have taken her up on it. As to complacent, gastronomically illiterate and oafish, I don’t know…maybe not. Eructating…gotta look that up. I think you didn’t mean for this post to be amusing but, for some reason, I found it so. Please take no offense. I often find things amusing that other people wouldn’t. Such as on the plane ride, the man (I thought so anyway until the flight attendant said ma’am:eyes: ) sneezed twice and a little girl in back of us asked her mom ‘what was that noise?’ I started giggling uncontrollably as I am at the moment. Not wanting to embarrass myself or the she/man (I still think it was a man), I kept looking at my book and pretending to be laughing at what I was reading even though I was unable to read at all. And BTW, while in North Dakota, I read Carson McCuller’s book of short stories which included The Ballad of the Sad Cafe. Absolutely loved it. I kept wanting to shake some sense into Miss Amelia. A few of the shorter stories were sort of odd and seemed to end abruptly. I might start reading The Heart is a Lonely Hunter because I have become annoyed, or bored, with The Illuminator that I am currently reading.

  2. Well, you may have noticed that I don’t do smilies. I understand why people use them, since, for some reason, the Internet and e-mail seem extraordinarily conducive to misunderstanding. However, I think I’d feel, if I did use them, a bit like I was putting a canned laughter track onto what I wrote. Please feel free to be amused at anything I write. There are no officially sanctioned or officially forbidden laughs here.I rather thought I’d described many millions of people rather than just a million plus, but maybe I have a skewed view of things.I think in the McCullers collection I most liked the title story and ‘A Tree, A Rock, A Cloud’, though I found them all to be very good. The title story is particularly haunting. It’s seems like there are too few macabre love stories, when the experience of what is commonly called love is surely one of the most macabre experiences of human existence.By the way, I fit the description I gave in at least half of its particulars.

  3. You’re right, putting in smilies does seem like ‘canned laughter’ but I sort of like them. ‘A Tree, A Rock, A Cloud’: I liked this one too. Although I thought the old man was going to say he was the boys long lost father.

  5. ‘A Tree, A Rock, A Cloud’: I liked this one too. Although I thought the old man was going to say he was the boys long lost father.I had already read a version of the story under the title ‘Residual Borgeois Manners Were the Only Thing that Saved Me from Total Ruin’. Of the other two books of hers that I’ve read, I’m now not sure which I prefer. The first I read was The Member of the Wedding. Then I read The Ballad of the Sad Cafe, then I read The Heart is a Lonely Long-distance Runner. At first I thought I preferred Wedding to Hunter, because the prose was better and because I tend to find ‘social comment’ in novels a bit… sixth-form, or something. However, now that some time has passed, I’m not so sure. The more I think about it, the more I like The Heart is a Lonely Junta. Does “eructating” include farting or not….pondering….help required please?Does it include it? Not to my knowledge. I think it’s belching only.

  7. joe campbell writes:

    Hey Quentin, sorry to interupt but, are you in London often? I’m living on Caledonian rd at the moment and ocasionally attending art school. well you’d be a welcome guest if you ever felt like dropping round for tea. also, have you ever seen this?: http://uk.youtube.com/profile?user=lollardy&view=videosnot entirely sure why i’m asking. maybe because i think michael kitchen’s haircut has a sort of charm about it that i think ive seen you talk about..joe

  8. I think I prefer Carson McCuller’s version of ‘A Tree,….’.I think that’s a difficult call to make. Obviously we’re all indebted to the original in ways we probably can’t imagine, but I also can’t help feeling that Justin has extended the original in some way.Hey Quentin, sorry to interupt but, are you in London often?.Hello Joe. I wouldn’t say ‘often’, but at irregular intervals. Another occasion is planned, but I don’t know the date. I’ll let you know, though. Thank you for the invitation. I shall now have a look at that clip and scrutinise the haircut.

  12. I personally use it on occasion, but I think it has less currency than once it did. I suppose the barber was associated more with shaving, the ‘barbs’ being the beard.

  13. joe campbell writes:ha! exellant. yeah the only reason i know about it is that lollardy, the uploader, is a friend from home. i must have watched it several times over now. there’s something about it – probably mainly the hair – maybe that’s why it was banned. nothing to do with the rape or national front stuff.

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