What's the point in trying to disguise my anger?
…?
Well, that was another dead-end, anyway.
Anyway…
A while back I presented some unfinished lyrics I had been working on for the Kodagain project, Letters From Quentin. Tonight, after working frustratedly on some other lyrics, I turned back to those presented in that blog entry and finished them. Here they are:
I Can't Help Smiling
Before they killed her, the kids nextdoor
Put out her eyes with a white-hot poker
Because they were bored
And recorded it all on camera.
The ignorant pigs!
I'd like to break every one of their ribs!
Still, I can't help smiling
Every time I remember
Because there'll never be anyone else like her.
And though we’ll never meet, you and I,
Still, I can’t help smiling
Because the universe
Has held the both of us.
He was a builder and he was crushed.
He used to sigh as he laid the kitchen floor,
And why the long pause?
As if it was all too much.
He committed suicide
And died in his car from the carbon monoxide.
Still, I can’t help smiling
At his little ways and funny sayings,
Because there’ll never be anyone else like him.
And though we’ll never meet, you and I,
Still, I can’t help smiling
Because the universe
Has held the both of us.
I mentioned in my last blog post that I hate my blog. Some time back I was planning to write a whole entry explaining this in detail, and while I was thinking of how to explain this, I accidentally came up with another lyric. This is how it happened. I realised that one large factor in my hatred of my own blog could be described by use of the Japanese slang word 'maneri', a borrowing from the English 'mannerism'. A phrase such as "Saikin sugoku maneri shite iru jan?" could be translated as something like, "Recently you are really maneri-ing, aren't you?", or, more idiomatically, "You've become a real parody of yourself lately, haven't you?" 'Maneri' (treated in Japanese as a 'noun verb') implies habits of speech, action and so on indicative of stagnation. (Incidentally, I've often contemplated doing my own series on this blog introducing words I like with definitions, background, commentary and so on.) Anyway, as I thought about how I would use the word 'maneri' to explain why I hate my blog so much, a lyric just kind of came to me that I thought could be used in the Kodagain project. It turned out as a kind of love song. Kind of. Here it is:
Mannerisms
For a long time now I have felt
Like a parody of myself,
And it seems to have started
With the way in which we parted.
A moment’s hesitation was my downfall.
A moment’s doubt found me out,
And destiny rejected me.
The look in your eyes said it all.
I was grounded.
I had turned from a hero to a clown.
Now all that’s left to me
Are mannerisms,
Habitual affectations – mannerisms.
The ones I saw reflected in your eyes
When you began to despise me.
I suppose you could say I’m an empty shell.
And all I can say now is, “Oh well.”
A moment’s hesitation was my downfall.
A moment’s uncertainty hurt you cruelly.
And there was no recovery.
The look in your eyes said it all.
I was such a fool.
And I’ve turned from a hero into a tool.
Now all that’s left of me
Are mannerisms,
Defensive affectations – spannerisms.
The ones I saw reflected in your eyes
When you began to despise me.
I suppose you could say I’m an empty shell.
And all I can say now is, “Oh well.”
Glad you have inspirations. I like the second one better. Both rhyme very well. I just notice from a photo on the sidebar that you have a very high forehead, you know what that means?
It is considered a sign that the person is bright and intelligent.The main reason I like the first one less is that I do not like to see the word “suicide” in it. In a poem, it maybe okay. But not in a lyric.
“The main reason I like the first one less is that I do not like to see the word ‘suicide’ in it. In a poem, it maybe okay. But not in a lyric.”Yes, I can understand this. I did first use a different phrase, but I found the rhyme of ‘suicide’ with ‘carbon monoxide’ compelling enough to use. Incidentally, I ammended that lyric slightly. The second chorus (if my collaborator decides to sing it that way) now reads:And though we’ll never meet, you and I,Still, I can’t help smilingBecause the universe is one in whichThe both of us exist.”It is considered a sign that the person is bright and intelligent.”I see no reason to argue with such a judgement.
“I just notice from a photo on the sidebar that you have a very high forehead, you know what that means?”It means my hair’s receding. No?”I like the second one better. Both rhyme very well.”Thank you. I like to rhyme when I can.
I see no reason to argue with such a judgement.Good that you do not show fake modesty like some others. There is no point doing that.
No, my modesty is never fake.