I've just happened to catch a little of Front Row or something on Radio 4, and it seems to be about celebrity memoirs. I've just decided that anyone who releases a celebrity memoir should die. That's all.
Oh, particularly Richard Madeley, who dared to suggest that he had had a "literary lunch" with his publisher. Richard Madeley has never had a "literary lunch" with anyone in his life. What he meant was a "lucrative lunch". He should die now.
PS. I've just heard Paul O'Grady laugh in self-satisfaction when asked whether he would do more than two volumes of his memoirs. "Well, the publishers would probably want me to go on forever."
I should obviously just slit my wrists now. Or somebody's wrists, anyway.
