I've just started a new tube of ointment and it brought back memories.
I used to know a Japanese girl who complained to me that the British have no knack whatsoever for designing clever little things that make daily life more convenient. I took this criticism of my native culture philosophically.
One day, for reasons I don't now recall, she was in need of some ointment. Of course, the mouth of the tube was sealed with silver foil. She searched about for a needle or scissors with which to pierce the foil. Seizing my moment, I took the plastic lid of the tube, raised it before her, in a 'please observe carefully' manner, and, using the little plastic bayonet thing nestled within the lid, I pierced the silver foil.
Her eyes widened in wonder and delight.
I nodded slowly in triumph.
Yes. Who's small and convenient now?!
Then, after about thirteen seconds, she said, "But the little spike thing in the lid gets sticky."
I was crushed.
you got her… she just had to say something… 💡
Yes, well, I don’t like to gloat.
I should probably add that I actually have no idea whether that type of lid on a tube of ointment is a British patent or not, but she had clearly never seen one before.
Anonymous writes:I agree with Scott. You’d admit ignorance. You were too good for her. I don’t, however, believe you were crushed. What exactly were you feeling at that moment? If you insist you were crushed, I’ll believe it. Happy new year dear.
I never knew I’d have so many people coming out on my side on this issue.My punchline about being crushed is now under examination, and I’m not sure it holds up, but I suppose I was aiming for a good old ‘set ’em up and and knock ’em down’… set up, rather than the more diffuse ‘no punchline’ Monty Python approach.The truth is though, I did feel at least slightly crushed. I was not entirely uncrushed.Happy New Year.May I ask if we’ve met?
Pet Jeffery writes:She was right — the spike does become sticky. If she’d hung on to the ointment tube for long enough, she would have found that, when it dried, the goo flakes off like ointment dandruff.So, I think your crushed feeling should have been a little ameliorated by the fact that she didn’t foresee the dandruff effect.But here’s the thing, I just investigated the drawer in which I keep ointment. There are three tubes in there. One has long since seen its ointment dandruff flake away, and only slight traces remain. The other two tubes have no spike. Even in England spike-free ointment tubes are to be found. On the basis of my not-statistically-significant sample, they may even be in the majority.
That is a significant finding. I bet the patent for the spike things is Swiss, or something like that. I shall have to look into it.